Satisfied

“Are you satisfied with your care?” – Baymax (Big Hero 6)

I looked up at the horizon, expecting someone to show up as I hold my Nintendo on my hands playing a game about monster hunting. The smell of freshly opened can of coffee filled the area around me, the air vents of the convenient store were whirling a mechanical noise matching the roars of the monsters I’m battling inside my video game, and I was there, seated, waiting for the moment that I felt was essential.

It was February 14, a normal day for some and Valentine’s day for the rest.

And there she was, on her thin dress and slim figure. Her shoulders were showing which was always a good look on her. Her semi-auburn hair was shining under the sunlight. It was a day to look forward to.

The day’s plan was to spend time in the UPLB Feb Fair event; an event where the whole area of UP is transformed into booths and programs are on-going everywhere you look. It was noisy, it was colorful and it was beautiful.

We’ve spent half a day just walking around, admiring the sights and scenery with our friends. It was fun, sniffing the air that surrounds us and the aroma of free thinking and liberalism along with it. The place was filled with green, with the booths serving as side dishes in this beautifully crafted salad of a scenery.

It was picture perfect, except that it wasn’t.

It was a slow, good bye to everything we were so used to; The dates, the smiles, the kisses, the hugs and the love. We relieved every moment, every memory at that moment. The lollipops, the pandas, the secret winks, the jeepney rides and the feeling of her head on my shoulders as he hugged my arm tight like a little sweet thing.

How I would be with her all day, sweet whispers talking about the futures that may never come and how we just sat somewhere, resting, with her back supported by my embrace, looking at the skies and thinking that it feels good, it feels right and absorbing the fact that we are together.

We were together.

It was the last day, one last moment, one last memory, just one last touch and one last kiss.

I’m not wishing to get her back, I do not want to feel her hug or kisses again, I can’t even say if I want her love back. I am in pain yes, but she can’t fix me, I can never ask her to do that.

Maybe it was her, may it wasn’t her and at this point in time we might never know.

All I know is that I loved that girl with all of me; every selfish, romantic and childish part of me. She was the only thing, the only one I’ve wanted at one point in time. She was the proof that no amount of random flings and random girls can satisfy the feeling of emptiness we all have inside us. She was the Princess, my Princess.

As I held her hand one last time, just one thought came across in my mind, just one last question among the multitude of why’s and how’s of this chapter in my life, the last thing I wanted to ask her, the last thing that I wanted to get across as my final breath in this tiring, exhausting battle, the only and one thing that I wanted to tell her, to ask her;

“Are you satisfied with my care?”

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